All my life, I have always been wanting for more. More independence, more money, more success, more confidence, more happiness…you name it. It’s like I can never achieve this hypothetical level of satisfaction.
I’ve been feeling this way lately in regards to my living situation. I’m currently living in my hometown where I’ve lived most of my life except for 3 1/2 years abroad and a few miscellaneous years before I was 5. I live in a small-to-midsize city that, while pretty and pleasant, is truthfully boring to me most of the time. Since I grew up here, I am familiar with the region and there is nothing new and exciting for me to discover.
At times I just want to pack up and move to a larger city with more opportunities and new places to explore. I can’t seem to bring myself to do it quite yet though. I am constantly torn between moving and staying. I’ve composed 2 lists: why I want to leave, and why I want to stay.
Anyone else feel similarly about their living situation?
Why I Want To Move:
- I have a desire for new experiences: meeting new interesting people, visiting new places, learning new things. I like to explore.
- There are more career opportunities in larger cities.
- I can be more independent from my family.
- There are more diversions to occupy my free time. I love concerts, museums, and restaurants. I’ve pretty much exhausted the options where I currently live.
- Most of my closest friends have dispersed and live all over the US and abroad. I feel lonely without them and wouldn’t feel too sad leaving since they all have already!
Why I Want To Stay:
- Although I want independence from my family, we are still close and the thought of not being able to see them regularly would be kind of depressing.
- My doggy. She is extremely bonded to my mother and if I moved away, she would stay with my mom. I would miss her so much.
- Familiarity. I confuse myself: although I crave new experiences and adventures, the familiar feeling of my hometown is comforting.
- We have nice weather here, and most places have more extreme temperatures. I am highly sensitive to temperatures and don’t fare well in hot or cold. I need moderate weather to be fully functional which is what I’ve got now!
- Although at times I find my current city boring, it is nice in that it is not overly crowded. A bigger city would mean more crowds, more traffic, more noise, and more pollution. I am highly sensitive to my surroundings and I can see myself becoming a constantly frazzled person if my senses are constantly assaulted and I can’t get much peace.
For now I’ll stick with my current living situation. I won’t force a move just to get out if it doesn’t feel right. If ever a new and better career opportunity arises elsewhere, I’d highly consider a move if the location was nice. I guess I’ll just keep at it and see where life takes me. In the meantime, I’ll try to keep myself entertained with reading, writing, films and travel. Sometimes I forget how refreshing and revitalizing to life travel can be. Now on to plan my next trip…