All my life I’ve felt like I’ve never been enough or done enough. This is mainly due to pressure and expectations I’ve put on myself, rather than how others have treated me. It seems like no matter how hard I try or how much work I do, it is just never enough to me.
For instance, when I worked in the veterinary field I knew I was doing meaningful work by helping sick and injured animals but I still felt like I should be doing something even more worthwhile with my time. Although I love all animals, at times it just didn’t feel right when clients would drop hundreds (or thousands!) of dollars on their poodle or bichon or other pampered little breed, when there are millions of people living in poverty and have no healthcare. I mean, come on.
I feel much more fulfilled in my current job now that I am helping improve the lives of those with disabilities. I am so grateful I found a career that allows me to make a real difference in the lives of individuals with disadvantages. However, even so, every now and again I get that nagging feeling like I can and should be doing more. But what?
I have to remind myself often that I am only one person and I can’t save everyone singlehandedly. I tell myself that I should be happy when I help even one person improve their life. It does make me happy to receive positive feedback from the people I support as well as from my co-workers. But still…I want to save the world.
I have accepted that is due to how my brain is wired. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with my work. No matter what I do for others, I’ll think I should do more. I suppose I should see the positive in this: this drive is what will keep me going forward in life. As long as there are others in need, I will be there to help!